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A man's bragging about his promotion to vice president got so out of hand even his wife was annoyed. "Look, being a vice president isn't that special," she said. "They even have a vice president of peas at the supermarket!" Not believing her for one second, the man called the supermarket and demanded, "Get me the vice president of peas!" The clerk replied, "Fresh, canned, or frozen?" —Submitted by Norman Middleton

A man's bragging about his promotion to vice president got so out of hand even his wife was annoyed. "Look, being a vice president isn't that special," she said. "They...

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75 Laugh-Out-Loud Corny Jokes That The Entire Family Will Love

Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes

Get ready to have some fun! We've rounded up 75 of the corniest, silliest jokes that will have you and your family roaring with laughter. From classic puns to silly riddles, these corny jokes are guaranteed to be a hit with everyone in the family. Whenever a situation feels like it could be helped along with laughter, these jokes are going to be the ultimate crowdpleasers.

Kids and adults alike will appreciate the lighthearted nature of these hilarious jokes, making them perfect for game nights, road tripes, or anytime you need to brighten someone's day. These corny jokes for the whole family will never let you down.

Fun Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  • What do you call a fibbing cat? A lion.
  • What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
  • Silly Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Bison.
  • I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
  • How do you make a water bed bouncier?Add spring water.
  • Hilarious Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it.
  • Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind-it's tearable.
  • Why did the restaurant hire a pig? He was good at bacon.
  • Outrageous Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
  • What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.
  • What job did the frog have at the hotel?Bellhop.
  • Droll Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner.
  • A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie was everywhere.
  • What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? Sneakers.
  • Slap Your Knee Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A Maybe.
  • What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
  • What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A slipper.
  • Corny Jokes That Make It All Better Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • One of the cows didn't produce milk today. It was an udder failure.
  • Why don't lobsters like to share?They're shellfish.
  • Why don't sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
  • Entertaining Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He's fully recovered.
  • How does a rancher keep track of his cattle?With a cow-culator.
  • What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick.
  • Light Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
  • What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
  • Why is the mushroom always invited to parties?He's a fungi.
  • Easy Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn't like it.
  • I always wanted to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.
  • I just flew into town and my arms are so tired.
  • Winning Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
  • What do you call an alligator detective?An investi-gator.
  • Why are the Irish so wealthy? Because their capital is always Dublin.
  • Fabulous Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
  • What do you call a ghost's sweetheart? A ghoul-friend.
  • If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.
  • Corny Jokes That Spread Joy Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
  • Why don't we see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it.
  • What do you call a beehive without an exit?Unbelievable.
  • Punny Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
  • If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages?
  • How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
  • RELATED: 75 Food Jokes for Kids to Share Around the Dinner Table or Wherever Some Delicious Humor Is Needed

    Great Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Irish puns are the most O'ffensive.
  • Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
  • What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.
  • Amusing Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Where do pirates get their hooks? Secondhand stores.
  • I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
  • Why do pancakes always win at baseball? They have the best batter.
  • Excellent Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crumby.
  • Why was the broom late to class? It over-swept.
  • Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
  • These Corny Jokes Are a Riot Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.
  • What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
  • I used to think I was indecisive. But now I'm not so sure.
  • Can't Go Wrong With These Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • What happens when frogs park illegally?They get toad.
  • The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense.
  • What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics.
  • Delightful Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.
  • What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear.
  • Why couldn't the pony talk? Because she was just a little hoarse.
  • Wild Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
  • Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
  • Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the moo-vies.
  • Rousing Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to go spreading it!
  • Geology rocks, but geography's where it's at.
  • Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated? He's all right now.
  • These Corny Jokes Always Work Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • What did the snail riding on the turtle's back say? Wheeeeee!
  • I'm on a seafood diet: When I see food, I eat it.
  • I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex. He's a small arms dealer.
  • These Corny Jokes Will Do the Trick Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Never buy anything with Velcro. It's a total rip-off.
  • How you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
  • How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
  • YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: 75 Udderly Hilarious Cow Jokes for Kids and Adults

    Final Corny Jokes Corny Jokes © Provided by Mamas Uncut Corny Jokes
  • Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
  • Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head.
  • Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted.
  • There you go! We hope you and your family enjoy these fantastic jokes. They are lighthearted and fun and a great thing to have when things start to feel stale or boring. Laughter is the best medicine so tell these jokes often.

    This post appeared first in Mamasuncut - https://mamasuncut.Com/, visit the original post here: 75 Laugh-Out-Loud Corny Jokes That the Entire Family Will Love


    Get Your Kids In The Kitchen With This Fun Cookbook

    Meal time. It can be a struggle for many parents.

    I have three kids, and the youngest two are a bit particular when it comes to their food. I don't know how that happened, because I fed them the same array of foods when they were babies and young toddlers that I fed to their older brother, who has a much wider tolerance for new and unfamiliar foods.

    It helps that Dominic enjoys cooking and being in the kitchen. Last summer, he attended a kids cooking camp put on by a local Family and Consumer Sciences teacher, and since then, he's become the official grilled cheese chef in our house.

    That's why he was pretty excited when I showed him "1, 2, 3 Cook! My First Cookbook" and told him I'd like him to find some recipes he would like to make so I could write about it for work. He marked smoothies and other cool treats but also selected Dad Jokes Mac and Cheese as well as Tot-chos. We opted for the latter recipes, figuring that his younger siblings would likely eat those two items for a meal.

    I made sure we had all the ingredients and then let Dominic take over. He opted for the mac and cheese first and was surprised to find that the cheese didn't come in powdered form in a paper packet (Kraft mac and cheese is a staple in our house). He carefully grated the cheese, measured all the ingredients, and combined everything as directed. The end product was a delicious pot of homemade mac and cheese he made himself.

    IMG_7728.JpgDominic shows off the pot of Dad Jokes Mac and Cheese he made.

    Danielle Teigen / On the Minds of Moms

    Everyone ate the dish, and it received mixed reviews. The younger two ate a little but noticed right away it lacked the Cheeto-orange color of the Kraft kind. Dominic himself thought it was okay, but wasn't wild about the flavor, which likely came from the crushed garlic. His dad and I thoroughly enjoyed the dish, but conceded that it tasted different than the mac and cheese we were used to. If Dominic were to make this recipe again, he'd likely opt to omit the garlic, he said.

    The next night, Dominic made Tot-chos, which are essentially cheesy tater tots. They did involve mixing some spices he doesn't have regularly (like cumin, coriander and cayenne) and tossing the tots before baking. He again had to carefully grate the cheese, which was a mild Cheddar rather than the extra-sharp Cheddar the recipe called for. I explained to him I thought the mild version would agree with our palettes more than the sharp version would, and he seemed to agree.

    IMG_7733.JpgDominic mixes spices to coat the tater tots before baking them.

    Danielle Teigen / On the Minds of Moms

    Once the cheesy Tot-chos were ready to eat, Dominic served them to all of us to enjoy. He even strayed from his usual ketchup to try the guacomole the recipe called for, although he said he preferred ketchup. Thankfully, the spices weren't overwhelming, so the younger kids enjoyed the tots as well (with only ketchup, of course).

    Dominic made these recipes a few months ago, and we haven't yet had a chance to revisit some of the other recipes he marked. But, he's still interested in being in the kitchen and has learned to make a few other things like Ramen and scrambled eggs.

    The "My First Cookbook" retails for $22 and includes 50 recipes ranging from breakfast to lunch to snacks and desserts. It's visually appealing for kids and adults and includes a good amount of teachable kitchen lingo, like "What's a Dollop" and how to decorate a cake.

    Plus, there are several kid-friendly jokes sprinkled throughout to keep everyone laughing while they wait for their food to cook.

    IMG_7738.JpgDominic shows off the Tot-chos he made.

    Danielle Teigen / On the Minds of Moms

    I don't know if Dominic will continue to enjoy cooking or want to develop his skills more, but I'm happy to know he's willing to learn. Plus, I think his eagerness in the kitchen has rubbed off on his younger brother, who has now started insisting he help me cook.

    And wouldn't you know, he actually ate the food he helped make, rather than turn his nose up at it like he had countless times before. There's a first time for everything, right?

    Danielle Teigen has a bachelor's degree in journalism and management communication as well as a master's degree in mass communication from North Dakota State University. She has worked for Forum Communications since May 2015, first as a digital content manager before becoming the Life section editor and then deputy editor. She recently moved back to her hometown in South Dakota, where she works remotely for Forum Communications as managing editor of On the Minds of Moms.






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