Jim Gaffigan’s ‘Dark Pale’ Special Is His Best Yet
If You Laugh At These Dark Jokes, You're Probably A Genius
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. "What are you drinking?" he asks the guy.
"Magic beer," the guy says.
"Oh, yeah? What's so magical about it?"
Then the guy shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile.
"Amazing!" the man says. "Lemme try some of that!" The man grabs the beer. He downs it, leaps off the roof—and plummets 15 stories to the ground.
The bartender shakes his head. "You know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
Let's ignore for a moment whether or not that poor rube survived his fall (if it makes you feel better, let's say Trampoline Man was waiting for him on the ground). The real question is: Do you find dark jokes like this one funny? Sick? Maybe a little of both? Or do you prefer to stick to short jokes that are a little more wholesome?
What is a dark sense of humor?If you laughed at that Superman joke, you definitely have a dark sense of humor. But what is dark humor, exactly? Psychologists have defined it as "humor that treats sinister subjects like death, disease, deformity, handicap or warfare with bitter amusement and presents such tragic, distressing or morbid topics in humorous terms." If your reaction to those kinds of jokes is "that's terrible, but I laughed," then you enjoy dark humor. If you find yourself searching "dark humor meaning" to understand why people find the joke funny, or you react negatively to making light of difficult topics, then dark humor probably isn't for you.
Does a dark sense of humor mean you're smart?According to a study published in the journal Cognitive Processing, your reaction to dark humor could indicate your intelligence. In the paper, a team of psychologists concludes that people who appreciate dark humor may have higher IQs, show lower aggression and resist negative feelings more effectively than people who turn up their noses at it.
To test this correlation between a dark sense of humor and intellect, researchers had 156 male and female participants read 12 bleak cartoons from The Black Book by German cartoonist Uli Stein. (One of them, which paraphrases a classic joke, shows a mortician reaching deep into a cadaver as a nurse muses, "The autopsy is finished; he is only looking for his wrist watch.") Participants indicated whether they understood each joke and whether they found it funny, then took some basic IQ tests and answered questionnaires about their mood, aggressive tendencies and educational background.
What did the study on a dark sense of humor find?The results about a dark sense of humor were remarkably consistent: Participants who both comprehended and enjoyed the dark humor jokes showed higher IQs, and reported less aggressive tendencies, than those who did not. Incidentally, the participants who least liked the humor showed the highest levels of aggression and the worst moods of the bunch. The latter point makes sense when you consider the widely studied health benefits of laughter and smiling; if you aren't able to greet negativity with playful optimism, of course you will feel worse.
But what about the link to intelligence? According to the researchers, processing dark humor jokes takes a bit more mental gymnastics than, say, processing a knock-knock joke—it's "a complex information-processing task" that requires parsing multiple layers of meaning, while creating a bit of emotional distance from the content so that it registers as benign instead of hostile. That emotional maneuvering is what sets dark humor jokes apart from, say, puns, which literally pit your brain's right and left hemispheres against each other as you process a single word's multiple meanings but usually don't force you out of your emotional comfort zone. Tina Fey sums up the difference pretty well: "If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs."
The takeaway: Pretty much any joke that relies on wordplay will put your brain to work—dark humor jokes just require a bit more emotional control to earn a laugh. Give your brain a spin with these jokes proven to make anyone sound smart, or, if you do want to test your black humor cognizance, consider the following dark humor memes and riddles from the Reader's Digest comedy crypt to exercise your hardened funny bone.
"'I'm sorry' and 'I apologize' mean the same thing. Except at a funeral." —Demetri Martin
Q: What has four legs and one arm?A: A happy pit bull.
"Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation." —Jimmy Carr
Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?A: Because they taste funny.
"I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket." —Mitch Hedberg
Q: What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?A: Nothing.
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you." —Steven Wright
Next, here are some jokes research proved to be funny.
Sources:
54 Dark Jokes For Anyone With A Morbid Sense Of Humor
Life can be a real challenge sometimes, and during those times you may just have to laugh it out—even if that means getting a little dark. While these may not be the best jokes to crack with your mother-in-law or boss, it's OK to giggle at them on your own or even with some like-minded friends. Dark jokes aren't for everyone, but laughing at dark humor memes and jokes could mean you're a genius. Genius or not, there's no harm in letting off some steam on the harder days with some dark humor. If you're looking for jokes to make the whole room laugh, try these clean jokes, anti-jokes, bad jokes, and short jokes that are easy to remember.
1. I don't have a carbon footprint.I just drive everywhere.
2. The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.They're always so twisted.
3. When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
4. What did the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs say?"T. Rex, I'm coming for my hug!"
5. An apple a day keeps the doctor away…Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
6. I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
7. I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
8. I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let's make this interesting."So we stopped playing chess.
9. Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
10. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.She still isn't talking to me.
Feeling cheesy? Try these corny jokes that will make everyone laugh while they roll their eyes.
11. Patient: Oh doctor, I'm just so nervous. This is my first operation.Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.
12. I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
13. Never break someone's heart. They only have one.Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
14. My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction.So I packed up my stuff and right.
15. I childproofed my houseSomehow they still got in!
16. The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
17. What's worse than biting into an apple and discovering a worm?Biting into an apple and discovering half a worm.
18. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
19. My wife told me she'll slam my head into the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.I'm not too worried — I think she's jokindkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf
20. You're not completely useless.You can always serve as a bad example.
Check out these "what do you call" jokes that will definitely make you chuckle.
21. A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!" The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
22. What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?None. Historians have suggested most pirates would have been illiterate.
23. "Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today!"
24. My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
25. What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour? Its butt.
26. My boss told me to have a good day.So I went home.
In the middle of a political discussion that's getting too heated? Break the tension with these witty political jokes.
27. A child determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, "That's arson."
28. Imagine when you walked into a bar and there was a lengthy line of individuals ready to take a swing at you. That's the punch line.
29. Wife: "I want another baby."Husband: "That's a relief, I also really don't like this one."
30. "What's your name, son?" The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
31. My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
32. Why are friends a lot like snow?If you pee on them, they disappear.
33. I threw a boomerang a few years ago.I now live in constant fear.
34. A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she's seeing someone. It's either terrible news or great news.
35. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic.I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
If you're in need for a quick joke to pull out of your pocket at the next party, don't miss the funniest one-liners.
36. Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?Because they have no body to go with.
37. My boss said to me, "You're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"I said, "I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."
38. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
39. You know you're not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
40. I have a joke about trickle down economics. But 99 percent of you will never get it.
41. My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
42. What rhymes with "boo" and stinks?You.
43. I have a fish that can breakdance.Just for 20 seconds though and only once.
44. What's pink and dangerous for your tooth?A brick.
If these dark jokes are feeling a little too dark, check out these "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes to lighten the mood.
45. "I work with animals," the man says to his date."That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?""I'm a butcher," he says.
46. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny.
47. Watching my daughter at the park earlier. Another parent asked, "Which one is yours?" I replied, "I'm still deciding."They looked horrified.
48. My mother said one man's trash is another man's treasure.Turns out I'm adopted.
49. When my uncle Frank died, he needed his ashes to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His final wish was to be Frank in Stein.
50. Why do vampires seem sick?They're always coffin.
Love riddles? Here are some dark riddles for you to figure.
51. Do the very last thing my grandfather stated to me earlier than he kicked the bucket? "Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
52. Well, it is true that humans eat more bananas than monkeys just as recent research suggests. I agree because I can't remember when last I enjoyed eating a monkey.
53. Today I made a decision to go go to my childhood house. I asked the residents if I may come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, however, they refused and slammed the door on my face. My mother and father are the worst.
54. What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny automobile.
Now that you've laughed over these dark jokes, read up on the best Laffy Taffy jokes that will sweeten your day.
Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Reader's Digest runs it.
Sick Girl
Jennifer Cram makes her writing and directing debut with Sick Girl. Nina Dobrev stars in this comedy as Wren, a 30-something who never really grew up. She still parties every night and is in a perpetual hangover daze because of it. Her best friends, though, have left that phase of life behind. Cece (Stephanie Koenig) is dealing with parenting a very demanding child. Laurel (Sherry Cola) marathon training eats up a lot of time. Jill (Hayley Magnus) has an ever-expanding business, forcing her to be on her phone all the time.
This chasm is only furthering Wren's downward spiral. On the rare occasion everyone is together, Wren attempts to have an actual heart-to-heart, but everyone is distracted by everything. So Wren tells her friends she has cancer, but she lied. She is entirely healthy. The false statement works, though, as the four are now going to the spa or catching up, minus the real-life baggage. Will Wren's lie catch up to her, and if so, what will the fallout be?
Sick Girl is full of amusing moments brought to life by a strong cast. Dobrev walks the thin line between being unforgivably reprehensible and empathetic. Wren's desire to still see her friends is relatable, though everything else she does (to a point) is selfish at worst or stupidly misguided at best. But the character never turns the audience off because Dobrev is effortlessly charming.
"…Wren tells her friends she has cancer, but she lied. She is entirely healthy."
It certainly helps that the supporting players bring their A-game as well. Koenig finds the right balance of constant exhaustion and fun to work. Cola spotlights some brilliant comedic timing, both verbal and physical. Magnus is sweet and likable. Plus, the core group share a chemistry that makes it easy to buy them as friends.
The cast makes the film as delightful as it is. Scenes are funny or appropriately dramatic, but overall, the narrative feels like a skit. Cece and the others take Wren to get a second opinion despite her not really being sick. The sequence, though, is just Wren trying to convince the doctor she could, maybe, have cancer. And then it's over. Ultimately, it is unnecessary. Other scenes feel rushed, especially as the end draws near and Wren is forced to reckon with everything she's done. Without spoiling much, a major move (some might argue sacrifice) on her part is a blip on the radar when it really should be the emotional climax of the redemption phase of the plot.
Still, Sick Girl does work. Dobrev throws herself into an unlikable role and still charms the audience. Koenig, Cola, Magnus, and a brief turn from Wendi McLendon-Covey, as well as Brandon Mychal Smith's actual cancer having Leo, do the absolute best they can. Cram's first film might not balance its tone properly and rush through key moments, but it is a solid debut that shows some promise.
"…Dobrev is effortlessly charming."
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