148 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny - Best Dad Jokes of All Time
Dear Abby: Man's Texted 'Dad Joke' Earns Him Middle Finger Emoji From Daughter's Mother-in-law
DEAR ABBY: My oldest daughter, "Teri's," mother-in-law snooped into Teri's text messages and found a cartoon I had sent of two early Colonials at a bar, one saying to the other, "I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."
An argument ensued over her looking at the texts without permission. Shortly after, I received a text from her mother-in-law with a middle finger emoji.
I live in the same city the mother-in-law lives in. Teri lives far away. Sooner or later, our paths will cross, and I'm not sure what I should say or do.
My text was meant as a joke -- though I must admit the mother-in-law is not an easy person to get along with. I did not respond to her emoji. Actually, I blocked her number on my phone. What should I do? No one has ever given me the finger before! -- HUMOROUS DAD IN THE SOUTH
DEAR DAD: There's always a first time. Tell the woman you are sorry "if her feelings were hurt" and explain that the cartoon was a joke, rather than a judgment of her personally -- or, when you see her, laugh about the emoji, which was probably also meant as a joke.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.Com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Leave Your Family Howling
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Move over, dad jokes! Classic knock knock jokes are the OG laughter-inducing (we're talking side-splitting, tinkle in your britches hee hee) kind of humor we all grew up with. Sure, knock knock jokes for 5 year olds are silly as can be, but we're here to declare that hilarious jokes for kids are most often the good, clean fun you need to make you smile at any age.
So bring on all the corny jokes! Share them with your family, coworkers, classmates, or just read through them when you're having a bad day (buy this clever knock knock jokes calendar for a daily dose). After all, laughter brings the best kind of levity to life. To make sure you have plenty of humor in your world and to keep those around you nonstop giggling, we've rounded up 55 funny knock knock jokes for adults, kid knock knock jokes, and even sassy knock knock jokes for teens too.
Looking for more funnies for your family and friends? Check out our list of 80 hilariously funny jokes and mom jokes. And now for these cute knock knock jokes with answers to the burning question "who's there?"
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Yoda Lady. Yoda Lady who? Stop yodeling.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Alaska. Alaska who? Alaska 'nother person if you don't know the answer!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Peas. Peas who? Peas open the door for me!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Tibet. Tibet who? Early Tibet and early to rise!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Bacon. Bacon who? Bacon some cookies in there? Smells delicious!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Train. Train who? Someone needs to train you how to open the door.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Ion. Ion who? Ion know what you're doing in there, but let me in!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo birthday to you!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Owl aboard!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Cheese. Cheese who? For cheese a jolly good fellow!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Alberts. Alberts who? Do Alberts fly south for the winter?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Chickens. Chickens who? No, no! Chickens cluck, owls hoo.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Van Gogh. Van Gogh who? Van Gogh down the road very fast.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Sadie. Sadie who? Sadie magic word and I'll tell you!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Gopher. Gopher who? Gopher it! You can do it!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow… Moo!!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Nada. Nada who? Nada another knock-knock joke!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Double. Double who? W!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Iva. Iva who? Iva sore hand from knocking!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Interrupting pirate. Interrupting pirate… ARRRRR!!!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Nanna. Nanna who? Nanna your business.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'…
Knock! Knock! Who's there? A door. A door who? I adore you!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Britney Spears. Britney Spears who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Oops, I did it again.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub—I'm dwowning!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Marry. Marry who? Marry me!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Abe. Abe who? A, B, C, D….
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe please help me open the door?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Atlas. Atlas who? Atlas! I'm here!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Pizza pretty nice guy once you get to know him.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Ken. Ken who? Ken you please loan me some money?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Isadore. Isadore who? Isadore made out of wood?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Avenue. Avenue who? Avenue heard this joke before?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I'd use the doorbell, but it's broken.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Honeycomb. Honeycomb who? Honeycomb that hair—it's a mess!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Uruguay. Uruguay who? You go Uruguay, and I'll go mine.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup with you soon!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Amos. Amos who? A mosquito bit me!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Abe Lincoln. Abe Lincoln who? Aww come on! Don't you know who Abe Lincoln is?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Anita. Anita who? Anita come in!
Knock! Knock! It's open. Must you ruin everything?
Knock! Knock! Knock. Knock. You're supposed to say who's there? I have a peephole, duh.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help here…the door is stuck.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? To. To who? To whom.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? You know… You Know Who? OH NO, WHERE? (for the Harry Potter fan)
Knock! Knock! Who's there? The interrupting sheep. The interr..BAAA!!!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Amish. Amish who? You're not a shoe!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Oink Oink. Oink Oink who? Make up your mind. Are you a pig or an owl?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Isabel. Isabel who? Isabel ringing?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Broccoli. Broccoli who? Broccoli doesn't have a last name, silly.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the the peep hole and find out.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben knocking for 10 minutes!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to know.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly. Cows go moo.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Boo. Boo hoo? Aww, why are you crying?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Wa. Wa who? What are you so excited about?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Butter be quick, I have to go to the bathroom.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? A broken pencil. A broken pencil who? Never mind, it's pointless.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Wow, I didn't know you could yodel!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? I am. I am who? You don't know who you are?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? *Remains silent*
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Kirtch. Kirtch who? God bless you!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Mustache. Mustache who? I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in and you'll find out.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? Okay, okay: W. H. O.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Candice. Candice who? Candice joke get any worse?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Yukon. Yukon who? Yukon say that again.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Tennis. Tennis who? Tennis five plus five.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you gonna open the door?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, it's cold outside!
Knock! Knock! Who's There? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Water. Water who? Water you doing? Just open the door!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Haven. Haven who? Haven you heard enough of these knock-knock jokes?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good place we can go get lunch?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd come over.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anyone want to let me in?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Somebody too short to ring the doorbell.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Alex. Alex who? Alex-plain when you open the door.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? FBI. FB…We're asking the questions here.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy bell works again I won't have to knock anymore.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Déjà. Déjà who? Knock! Knock!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Armageddon. Armageddon who? Armageddon a little bored. Let's go out.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Cook. Cook who? Yes you are!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Cereal. Cereal who? Cereal pleasure to meet you!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Annie. Annie who? Annie way you can let me in now?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Will. Will who? Will you just open the door already?
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Viper. Viper who? Viper nose, it's running!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Theodore. Theodore who? Theodore wasn't open, so I knocked.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, but I'd love some peanuts.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Actually, it's kangaroo.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Says. Says who? Says me, that's who!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Europe. Europe who? Europe early this morning.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey doesn't fit in the keyhole.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Ho, ho. Ho, ho who? You know, your Santa impression could use a little work.
Will you remember me in a minute? Yes. Will you remember me in a week? Yes. Knock! Knock! Who's there? You didn't remember me!
Knock! Knock! Who's there? A herd. A herd who? A herd you were home, so I came over.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Honeybee. Honeybee who? Honeybee a dear and open the door, please.
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Doris. Doris who? Doris locked, why do you think I'm knocking?
Cybersecurity Dad Jokes Are No Laughing Matter
Q: Why was the laptop cold?A: Because it left its Windows open
Q: Why don't computers like to be outside?A: There are too many bugs
Q: What's a computer's favorite snack?A: Microchips!
Q: Where did the cybersecurity team go?A: They ran-som-ware
Q: What's a hacker's favorite sport?A: Phishing!
Q: Why are emails so lonely?A: They are afraid of attachments
Q: Is your virus software running?A: Well you better go run after it!
Q: How was Forrest Gump's password cracked?A: Because 1Forrest1 was easy to guess
Q: What kind of leak can't be fixed by a plumber?A: A data leak
Q: Why did the password lack confidence?A: It was insecure
Humor is often used to talk about serious subjects - it can emphasize irony, serve as a coping mechanism or even be used as a way to bond with others. While the jokes above may seem harmless, it's important to remember that cybersecurity is a serious and important topic, and should only be used only in appropriate situations.
What exactly is cybersecurity anyway?Cybersecurity is the practice of protecting computer systems, networks, devices and data from theft, damage, unauthorized access or other forms of cyberattacks. It encompasses a wide range of technologies, processes and practices designed to safeguard digital information and ensure the confidentiality, integrity and availability of data. As you can see, there's a lot of terminology associated with cybersecurity but generally speaking, cybersecurity protects against digital attacks. Still unsure about what cybersecurity is? Learn more and dig deeper into the basics of cybersecurity.
5 reasons why cybersecurity is not a joking matter
How cybercrimes affect people over the age of 60
Over the last 5 years, a total of 3.26 million complaints and $27.6 billion in losses were reported to the Internet Crime Complaint Center. What's more, total losses reported by victims over the age of 60 increased 84% from 2021 to 2022; and overall, cryptocurrency-related losses reported by the elderly increased by 350%.
Trust-based investment scams represent the largest portion of losses for investment. This often happens when individuals are targeted online and involve a form of cryptocurrency, and the scammers aim to gain the person's trust and present a low-risk, high-yield investment opportunity. It can result in victims dipping into their retirement accounts and home equity, and many have lost their entire life savings as a result.
The FBI has identified ways to help identify this activity:
As you can see, there is a very serious side to cybersecurity. Luckily, AOL offers protection across multiple devices (computers, smartphones, tablets, etc.) with Data Secure by AOL. This all-in-one plan includes solutions for protection against viruses and malware, hackers phishing and keyloggers to help keep your sensitive data safe from online threats...And that's no joke.
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