200 Best Reader's Digest Jokes of All Time

Khloé Kardashian Jokes Her Camel Toe Kamille Has 'Disappeared' For Good Now That She's 'Skinnier'

Khloé Kardashian is saying goodbye to Kamille for good!

While chatting with her sister, Kylie Jenner, on the May 30 episode of The Kardashians, the Good American founder, 39, joked about how her camel toe has disappeared since losing weight.

Khloé joked with her youngest sister that the "micro" heels she was wearing were totally cringe — saying she would only do flats or stripper heels but said a "micro puss" would be "fascinating."

"Wouldn't everyone want a smaller puss?" she then asked in her confessional. "I tend to have a larger puss. Like, when I'm fat, it gets fatter. 'Cause when I was fat, I had Kamille. Now that I've been skinner, Kamille disappeared."

Khloé previously explained that she gave her camel toe a name to take her "power" back.

Khloé Kardashian wears a bikini.

khloe kardashian/Instagram

"When I was chubbier, so was my little Kamille. It's not just me — everyone has their camel toe moments," she shared in a July 2023 episode of the Hulu series.

"I'm not excited about this, but what are you going to do? So I took my power back and named her Kamille the Camel for the world to know, because no one is going to f--- with me and embarrass me about something that I can't f------ control," she continued.

The mom of two revealed that Kamille "was really popular," causing her and her sister to develop a "code word" for when she needed to cover up in front of paparazzi.

Kamille was first introduced to the world in January 2015 when Khloé showed off an all-white outfit on Instagram.

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Khloé Kardashian smiles for a photo.

khloe kardashian/Instagram

"Today I let Jen and Joyce not only do my hair and make up but I actually let them style me today. And I must say I love what these two ladies created 😻 oh Kamille the camel 🐪🐫 is trying to say hi! I hope she listens today 🙊," she captioned the post.

Soon after embarking on a weight-loss journey, she proudly shared how it had impacted Kamille's appearance in a March 2016 interview with Nylon.

"Now that I've lost weight, I swear my puss has lost weight too, which I did not know was an option but thank god. So she doesn't care to be seen much these days but at the time she was a problem," she told the outlet.

Khloé opened up about how her weight loss also boosted her self-esteem in a January 2017 conversation with PEOPLE.

"I've always been very confident. I was definitely at a place of good self-esteem to begin with, thank god. But I definitely feel more confident now," she told PEOPLE. "I feel sexier in my body. I'm not as embarrassed if my girlfriends have a pool party, and I say I left my suit at home."

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New episodes of The Kardashians drop Thursdays at 12 a.M. ET on Hulu.

SofíaVergara Jokes That She Can 'recycle' Her Tattoo Tribute To Ex Joe Manganiello Amid Justin Saliman Romance

No Joe? No problem.

Sofía Vergara might have moved on after her divorce from Joe Manganiello last summer, but one thing that has stuck around is the "J" tattoo on her wrist.

And if things work out with new beau Dr. Justin Saliman, she might not even have to get it removed, with the "Modern Family" alum joking on Friday's episode of "The Talk" that she can "recycle" the tat.

Sofia Vergara shared that her "J" tattoo can now stand in for her new boyfriend, Justin Saliman. TikTok/@thetalkcbs She laughed about the coincidence of her new boyfriend having the same initial as her ex-husband. TikTok/@thetalkcbs Vergara and Manganiello split in 2023. Sofiavergara/Instagram

The actress was joined by her 32-year-old son, Manolo Gonzalez Vergara — who she stars with on "Celebrity Family Food Battle" — during the episode, with Vergara showing off her two tiny wrist tattoos in a TikTok clip teasing the interview.

After the actor and director told the audience that he had "like 34" tattoos "by this point," he pointed out that his famous mom had two of her own designs.

"This is … look how little," the "America's Got Talent" judge said in defense, showing an "R" in honor of her late brother, Rafael, on one wrist before revealing the "J" on her opposite arm.

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Thanks for signing up! The actress showed off the tiny "R" on her left wrist in honor of her brother, who died in 1998. TikTok/@thetalkcbs Vergara is now dating orthopedic surgeon Dr. Justin Saliman. GC Images

"This was Joe Manganiello's initial, but now he's gone," she said with a slight giggle, causing the audience and all of "The Talk" co-hosts to bust out laughing.

"How lucky can I be that the guy I'm going out [with] has the same initial, the new guy!" the "Griselda" star continued as her son covered his face with his hands.

Co-host Akbar Gbajabiamila joked that her boyfriends "have to start with a J," causing Vergara to quip, "recycle!"

Vergara routinely shows off edgy styles while judging "America's Got Talent." Sofia Vergara / Instagram The couple was married for 7 years.

The show's TikTok followers were loving the hilarious moment, like one who wrote, "She gave a new meaning to "reduce, reuse, recycle" 😂😂❤️❤️❤️."

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"Sofía is a real one for naming him and saying now it my new man's initial!!!" another TikTok user added.

Another pointed out that Vergara's thing for "J" names was an ongoing situation, writing, "haha manolo's dads name also starts with a J 😂," referring to her ex-husband Joe Gonzalez.

The high heel fan blamed her "big knee problems" on her love of tall shoes. Sofia Vergara / Instagram

Her interview on "The Talk" follows another sit-down with "Jimmy Kimmel Live" this week, when the sneaker-clad star revealed that she has "big knee problems" after apologizing for arriving to the interview in "tennis shoes."

Vergara — who told Kimmel she had an "8-hour operation" — said it was "depressing" to not able to wear her beloved high heels.

"I don't even want to look down," the mom of one admitted, sharing she thinks "tennis shoes are only for sports activities and touristy activities."

Let's hope she's back to fun shoes soon enough.

Mark Hillman: Jokes About Our Legislature Used To Be Funny

We used to joke that "no man's life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session." That's no laughing matter in today's Colorado.

The collective sigh heard across our state when 100 legislators finally went home to mind their own business reflects the growing sense of dread that accompanies the Colorado General Assembly convening each January.

Although some of their worst ideas died on May 8 when the annual session ended, many of them will rise again like zombies next January, and Coloradans will again be subjected to this same ritual.

Not long ago, Democrats and Republicans argued mostly about whether taxes and government spending should be higher or lower. But as Democrats achieved super-majority status — now 46-19 in the House and 23-12 in the Senate — they're confident voters gave them a mandate and won't hold them accountable for their excesses.

Voters said don't raise taxes without our approval. Legislators renamed taxes "fees" so they wouldn't have to ask. Voters said don't create large new "enterprises" — government functions funded by "fees" — without asking our permission. Legislators simply split enterprises into smaller units or exempted them entirely from the voters' mandate.

Expect these practices to continue indefinitely unless voters make an emphatic statement to the contrary. Overwhelming defeat of last year's Prop HH was one such statement, but Democrats judged it to be an anomaly and remain undeterred.

Now consider: seven Democrat legislators are members of Democratic Socialists of America. That's more self-proclaimed socialist lawmakers than any state except New York. A dozen or so more tilt very far left.

Socialist calls for "equity" and "justice" open a brave new world of intrusive lawmaking. Not to be confused with "equality" or "justice for all," equity and justice mean punishing "oppressors" and advantaging the so-called "oppressed." Lawmakers demand "environmental justice" and demographic analysis of legislation.

Who are these oppressors? Anyone who owns a business or property, or who produces good and services. Taxpayers, gun owners, parents and voters themselves may be oppressors, too.

If lawmakers aren't trying to micromanage businesses which they don't understand, they're threatening those businesses with litigation, extortion or extinction.

Ordinary citizens, who once paid scant attention to the legislature, now discuss its daily absurdities over coffee, drinks or backyard fences. Bills creating chaos in Coloradans' daily lives bring hundreds of citizens to wait hours to testify in legislative hearings, only to be told they have just two or three minutes to say what's on their minds.

Bills passed this year include:

• Creating a "Statewide Welcome, Reception and Integration Program" for immigrants whether legal or illegal.

• Extorting $175 million a year in new "fees" from oil and gas producers to fund mass transit and wildlife conservation. Four years ago, Gov. Jared Polis said Colorado's "oil and gas wars are over." Democrats in the legislature disagree, this year even threatening to end oil and gas production completely.

• Squashing property rights of owners of large rental properties by requiring them to offer the property to the government before they can sell it privately. Violators face fines up to $100,000.

• Unilaterally rewriting residential leases so they don't end just because the lease expires. If a tenant chooses to be difficult, terminating a lease will become a costly, painful process requiring a lawyer.

• Mandating gun owners buy firearm liability insurance; adding hours more class time and training for a concealed carry permit; and passing an arbitrary requirement that a gun left in a locked vehicle must be in a locked container even when inside a locked compartment. But crack down on gun thieves? No.

• Threatening schools and teachers with lawsuits if they don't call a student by (insert preferred pronoun)'s non-legal name. Because "parents are the problem," this law keeps parents in the dark.

• Raiding taxpayer refunds to create a $700 million "Family Affordability Tax Credit." Those who pay higher taxes will receive a smaller refund while those paying less will get a "refund" that's often more than they actually paid. Will anyone thank taxpayers who made this possible? Of course not. Instead, Progressive politicians claim credit.

Coloradans can expect more of the same unless Democrats choose to govern toward the center or Republicans realize winning back lost ground requires listening to more than just their base.

Mark Hillman served as Senate Majority Leader and State Treasurer. To read more or comment, go to MarkHillman.Com.

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